Monday, October 25, 2010

Não morro mais...

Não morro mais,
enquanto por mim respiras sigo vivendo,
a boca transmigra-se na tua boca
e eu sigo na língua e no calor do beijo

Não morro mais,
pois seria inveja da terra
dos bichos e do dia,
e esses não mais importam
pois que sou ar apenas

ou palavra talvez

que outras coisas poderiam ser minha boca
na tua boca?

I want to die before you leave,
and leave you shall,
and dead I'll be
for air cannot be without a body.
Or can it?

You answer:
we breath the same pulse,
my words become one with you

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Para o João do Mar

Ever since you left that i desperately tried to find this song. i heard it in your room, i believe you even played it... or maybe we just heard it together someplace. Its for you Jonathan, wherever you are.

where did my baby go?

where did she go? my baby girl who lied wrapped up inside of me? cozy and warm? did i loose her? i might have lost her...i kept loosing my babies, for they were so tiny, difficult to find, slipping off my fingers... I remember looking for them under the pillows on my grandmother's couch. The yellow golden one person's couch. I guess you don't call that couch... but I thought i had let the babies slip off onto it, and maybe onto the floor... Those were the dream babies, who talked already, a couple of months old only smiled at me while complaining i'd let them drown in the bath water...hell no, but I sure was scared... so that i wouldn't be scared, so that i wouldn't loose them again the man took my warm cozy bag from the inside of me, no more bag, no more babies. you can't take care of them so punished you will be. Bad lady said the ugly fat middle aged man who cut me open like a butcher. I found all of my children, except one. pitiful the whole affair.


I don't want to wake up bubu, you scared me... you looked like an heffalump...maybe because its Halloween, maybe... but still bubu, i don't want to wake up, you scared me so much i'm afraid of waking up to see you again... let me sleep bubu, if i sleep long enough you might stop scaring me.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

plagio da autora, autor conhecido não identificado

"E raios partam os que te fazem infeliz. Eu, agora e aqui, bebia-lhes o
sangue... e bebia o teu, devagarinho, para te absorver, como um liquido
precioso, e depois, cheio ou prenhe de ti, morreria feliz contigo e com um
sorriso nos meus labios,

que te beijam, coisa linda, que nao mereces o que a vida te tem dado, nem as
sacanices que eu tambem te fiz."

"And God damn the ones that make you miserable. I, here and now, would slowly drink their blood... and i'd drink yours, slowly, to absorb you, like a precious liquid, and after, full or pregnant of you, i'd die happy with you and with a smile on my lips,

that kiss you, beautiful thing who do not deserve what life has given you, nor the despicable things i also did to you."

i'm tired, as i have been for a very long time, life seems to be a poor taste movie in which the same scenes repeat endlessly. why did you have to be the same? why couldn't you be precious? unique? why did you have to prove it right?... now i wait and lay sleeplessly, wondering what morning will bring that i have not yet seen. pls God make me wake up to a brave new world, or just a new world... maybe just another world, in which people love people with love in their arms, in their words, in their walking steps and in their silent dreams. wake me up to that God or don't wake me up at all for i am very very tired.

Friday, October 1, 2010


do I have a plan? no, I didn't have it before, I don't have it now. are you guilty of my misery without you? am I guilty for knowing it might happen? guilt has no business here, and that's about the only thing i need to say right now. love has saved me and killed me many times. many times i have come back from the dead as if I had never lived before. i will do it again if it comes to it. but i think we will go. we will go together because nothing was supposed to be and yet it was. simply because you wished for it and i didn't stop you. i won't stop you now either. we will go.