a small spot inside my brain

I kept going pretending my brain knew what was doing
Let the singing do itself
and it was the only thought I could grab onto.
otherwise there were no thoughts in my head
just this terrifying fog and a vague feeling there might be blood
dripping from my eyes
in the meanwhile my voice kept going
as I imagine there was
a small spot in my head that pretended nothing was happening
and it was working
I knew the second I let it forget one word
a coma, a particular key
if I say the word in a particular accent
if I let it slip
everything will slip
my hands shaking a shaking microphone
In the audience someone with sweet eyes
reminded me of the mic stand
and that little spot in my brain that was still working
put the microphone on the stand
It worked
I hid my hands in my pockets
but they weighed a thousand rocks
(how can that weight still shake?)
their heaviness hurting too much
I moved them around in the air
as if it were some sort of hand ballet
It worked
I was just trying to hide how terrified I was
(I am)
terrified
I wasn't hiding it from the audience
I was hiding it from that tiny little speck of my brain
that was still working
If it didn't find out
I might just be able to finish it
without collapsing.