there is more than one word for love

I am pretty sure there is more than one word for love
there is love that kills
love you would die for
love that will take you back
to heaven
only to make it hell like
(some say)
I don't know what is the other word
maybe forgetfulness
I have forgotten almost everything
(like you feared I would)
but I know I loved you
I remember that
though seeing that I have forgotten
even your smell
(to remember only the nights I laid
half awake
hearing your heartbeat)
have I even been through all that
heaven and hell?
I suspect I will find out
when I peak
at myself
for the last time.
I hope I remember then
that the other word for love
might simply be my name.