twenty-two

twenty-two pages read in a couple of minutes
and a piece of paper with news from the past
irrelevant they were. Now, I think about the minutes after
they were written,
the whispers that followed,
in-between laughter and babies.
i realize that in a nanosecond, this zip of a second.
i couldn't laugh then
i can't laugh now
the world of twenty-two people went upside down
in a whisper. (I felt it coming
but not quite.)
hell is back, it comes fiercely and I pause the
writing;
the flames burn my chest and i remember how wet
I used to be, how wet I am
but hell is here.
water and fire do not go
earth and fire do not go
Above all
lies do not go.
(lies always go)
I need to be better than myself
she told me, knowing i have been;
i need to overrun myself too
i'm no good when i'm just being good,
Be better.
I will,
even though the world is coming to an end
and there's no hope in site:
In 2050 there will be more plastic bags than fish in the sea.
I wonder about the preposition.
nothing matters much,
it's just what it is.