your ghost
comes through the little happiness i managed to let come to me
in the midst of the salt of my tears
covering the scars of torture
you are not truly dead
i felt the blade of your indifference
last night
i heard the goals of your misery
metamorphosed in a game
where i always loose
the blunt metal blade carves into my mouth
ever so slowly
my lips unkissed on the floor
covered with
the blood that still drips off my eyes.
and darkness befriending me
offering relieve
from the bottomless hole of pain
where i float asunder.
i embrace it
hoping that in the morning you
and your blunt sword
have left the room
at least for another month or so
shivering
wrapped up in the soiled cloths
that cleaned the carpet
i sew
i sew incessantly
i will sew my lips my eyes
back on
and happiness will peek
from between each stitch
the pins i pull out at every stitch
of the needle sewing flesh
the pins i stuck
in your shadow
against the bright light of the window
the pins will keep you still
at least for a month more
so i can smile and let dreams approach as if i weren't a patch
a patch
another patch
sewn together
a skin quilt
perhaps
me
happiness looks me in the eye
that i gently grab of the floor
happiness looks at me from that eye
that i sew
amidst tears of hope
since tomorrow
you won't be able to hurt me
your shadow
pinned down
hauling
at the sound of
happiness behind closed doors.
i sew.
comes through the little happiness i managed to let come to me
in the midst of the salt of my tears
covering the scars of torture
you are not truly dead
i felt the blade of your indifference
last night
i heard the goals of your misery
metamorphosed in a game
where i always loose
the blunt metal blade carves into my mouth
ever so slowly
my lips unkissed on the floor
covered with
the blood that still drips off my eyes.
and darkness befriending me
offering relieve
from the bottomless hole of pain
where i float asunder.
i embrace it
hoping that in the morning you
and your blunt sword
have left the room
at least for another month or so
shivering
wrapped up in the soiled cloths
that cleaned the carpet
i sew
i sew incessantly
i will sew my lips my eyes
back on
and happiness will peek
from between each stitch
the pins i pull out at every stitch
of the needle sewing flesh
the pins i stuck
in your shadow
against the bright light of the window
the pins will keep you still
at least for a month more
so i can smile and let dreams approach as if i weren't a patch
a patch
another patch
sewn together
a skin quilt
perhaps
me
happiness looks me in the eye
that i gently grab of the floor
happiness looks at me from that eye
that i sew
amidst tears of hope
since tomorrow
you won't be able to hurt me
your shadow
pinned down
hauling
at the sound of
happiness behind closed doors.
i sew.
my heart cries for you Paula, if only pain could be erased, washed away, instead, it's buried within us, hidden under our continually repaired outer shells that never heal but simply cover up the past so no one knows our past, our pain.
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