Paula Gândara

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wasting

December 12, 2009

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wasting my life
so much
better save it

for another time

I said.

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Casa do Sol

~ English below a felicidade a rodos, um copo de água num dia em que até os pássaros bicam mais vermelhos na manhã onde jogo o milho amarelo torrado cheio do sol com que me deixas como se o sol fosse um ser que assim se dá uma vez por semana a horas marcadas, porque a felicidade todos os dias assusta até aos que nela se banham, olhai para mim meus anjos e vereis o quanto tenho oferecido dessa coisa de luz e de amor e estrela que explode como um anel de luz, de uns tantos mil a um ano ou dois eu sei lá, só sei que como estrela me sinto, um sol no seio do ser que sorri de tal forma arrepiado que te assustas com tanto sentir mas como diria a minha irmã mais querida da vida, se fosse agora eu teria tido acompanhamento psiquiátrico, uma menina que sempre sentiu tudo, sentias tudo demais sempre demais porque ainda sinto demais sinto este sol agora e sou tão feliz por pouco que seja porque nunca soube o que era uma migalha que fosse disso de não ter medo de tocar alguém eu posso tocar-te com

se eu quiser falar com Deus... in my dreams

in my dreams no one exists and I can tell You all the things that scream of yelling My voice so loud and so low around Your silent laughter Your serious look the steadfastness of a Presence in which I am still and no longer who I am used to know the simple shadow of the corners of Your mouth makes My hand tremble and My lips shake ever so vaguely My God as if not even the wind had sailed through such ravenous gorges and tempestuous seas that is this body of mine where from, one day, the flowers will forever grow to give You what of me will be left. By then my voice will no longer linger through hallways and classrooms By then the warm feeling of the tips of my cold gelid fingers thawing in the fury of a serpent and goddess sinking so quickly into the vastness of Your dark dark hair so very very dark will have been lost forever and ever and ever... The day will have forgotten how I feel Home, for Home, My Heart and My Soul, rests in the darkness of Your hairs mixed with the moss of

Together

I will write from the beginning hoping to make it clear: the nature of love is such one must first before loving anyone else in this world learn how to love Love So. your number one should be to love for the sake of Loving being that love is, means, carries, brings within itself an ability to transcend the nature of things. That being said, understand that first and foremost you must learn to love the act of loving and performing it endlessly until you are no more than It a pulsing heart forever alive and throbbing and bright for being so because my friends my dear dearest friends what I just found out is that the most ineffable of things is to be able to love oh and how and so much better, (and how and so much better) than I have ever seen or dreamt is the love of someone who loves blindly bleeding and failing and yet still loves and lives and dies for that one love that is not even there for it you know, that Love, that LOVE will allow me to persist that love will allow me to bre

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wasting

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